I have always believed that when you want something, you
just go out there and grab it. This includes all aspects of life. Whether you
really freaking want that crème filled doughnut or wanna snag the digits of the
cute guy at the bar you have to be proactive. Without it, you live a life full
of “what ifs?” I am not new to my way of thinking, sadly I have thought this
way for a long time. But you know when you get to that point where it is just
soooo much easier to say “I’ll do it later,” or my favorite “I just don’t have
the time!” pushing it off to the following week, month, year. I am super at doing this. As the quote goes “Procrastinators
unite…tomorrow!” Oh yeah! Then I get into a funk of bad habits, stressing out
over things I really have power to change and blaming myself. I am pretty sure
we have all been there. The never ending downward spiral of negativity and
angst.
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| I lead this group...no seriously.
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2012 has really shown me that what I want I have to be
proactive about. I obtained a job in January of this year in life insurance
doing some accounting based work for a small startup company. I loved it, felt like I really found a place I
fit in. The job was so accommodating, my bosses were great and when we hit our
marks it was awesome. Then there came a
point where instead of growth for me, they hired an old co-worker they use to
work with at a previous company. One by one my tasks were handed to her and
next thing I knew, I got the “We have to lay you off call.” I was astounded!
Even worse this job was a 45 minute commute from my home and I was in transit
when I received that call. Nothing is more frustrating than being half way to
the office when you are let go. What a sincere feeling of rejection, no matter how impersonal it was, I just felt like I was not good enough. Never good enough to appease my self, my bosses, my friends....
"In the mornings
I was anxious
It's better just to stay in bed
Didn't want to fail myself again
Running through all the options
And the endings
Were rolling out in front of me
But I couldn't choose a thread to begin"
When I was let go from my position with the company I was
two weeks away from a vacation with Shane and our friends to Vegas. I was
frantic, not knowing if I would be able to go and not feeling I should go
without having something lined up for me
when I came home. You all know that scary feeling of not knowing if you can pay
your bills or anything else of that sort. I felt it. Bad. That was a point
where I knew I had to be proactive. I updated my resume with my new credentials
and references (at least my previous employers allowed me to use them as
references) and sent copies out in masses! Luckily because of Facebook I was
able to reconnect and network and landed a job the day I was leaving for my
vacation! (Vegas was a blast, felt like I should include that.)
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| You know you want to take your photo in front of that sign... |
After all the stress of that situation, I sat down. I needed
to know what I wanted in life; it wasn’t acceptable for me to just work a dead
end job somewhere that I wasn’t happy. I needed to finish the schooling that I
had started and go for the career I wanted, and the lifestyle that appealed to
me. I wanted a vibrant world around me.
Where could I get that? I did some soul searching connected with the people who
knew me best and decided the best thing for me would be to move forward in
life, move from my comfort zone and figure out who I am and whom I am supposed
to be.
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| Pretty sure I used this...often....
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Chicago, I look to you for new growth, life and experiences.
I come with open arms and open mind with my furry boy Milo, my tiny sports car, and absolutely no savings. But the desire to find out what is out there. I want to
experience the unbridled love and passion you inspire in so many.
I believe I am on the right track, finally.
